This blog is going to be me blabbering about something I've felt for a while, so disregard the poor English/grammar.
You guys probably know me as someone that is competitive and dislike being looked down upon, but that was the only second biggest motivator for me to play SC2. Number one was the close friendships and comradery that I've experienced in my SC2 life. My 1st return to the game was because I wanted to be apart of the xGKing team in SEACL.
Lately I've been feeling very lonely while playing SC2, with no close personal friendships and activity, the only person I talked to about SC2 was Iaguz on KR. The memories of playing with nGen, TA, xGKing, iM and mGG makes it very hard for me to let go of a game that has dominated my social life in the past 3 years. However, things are not like what they are used to, feels like I keep trying to bring back a ship that has already sailed. Teammates and friends I've met through SC2 are people I feel are buddies now, but no longer inspire me towards the game the way they used to. The reason I've been streaming the last few days was because I've gotten to the point where I'm absolutely desperate to feel that I'm not alone while playing the game.
I've told my girlfriend about how I've felt for a while now, I keep telling her I'm going to be quitting, but being competitive and lingering memories just keeps me going. So we've come to a goal that I would probably quit once I win major national LAN - which was definitely something I was very confident about following my peaking practice performance. However, after not being able to go to AVCON, and finding out I can't go to ACL, I wasn't even that disappointed, I guess fate is trying to tell me something I already knew.
I started playing Terran at the beginning of Hots because I wanted to revitalise the joy of having fun at the game, and it worked for a while, until competitiveness drove me back to playing Protoss. I had much more fun when I'm playing Terran, but I play Protoss because winning was the ultimate reward, and hearing people say "lol joke race" still puts a smile on my face. Also having the same guy that motivated me to mass practice say that to me makes me second guess why I bother.
Anyway, long story short, I'm moving aside for the likes of Petraeus and joining my old teammates, friends, and competitors in the next chapter of our lives that would hopefully bring me abouts the same loving feelings that SCII has once made me feel.
Rayray
Basically just following the footsteps of Tim, Brad, Dan, Cam, Alex, Thomas?
Old School xG chat was some of the best memories I have of Starcraft II, possibly some of the best ill ever have. Although we were never super close I have a huge amount of respect for you, we are friends of sort and Ive got a huge amount of respect for you.
All the best in your future mate!
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[07-10, 22:00] PiG Unfortunately I'm incredibly lazy so most of my video footage is just me and iaguz in bed
Maybe you should try out a competitive team game (like a MOBA or FPS), assuming you get into the gameplay you'd probably find the comaraderie more motivating.
Really sad, I remember when I started with this community you were the first protoss I became a huge fan of and I always hoped you'd achieve the goals you set yourself. Thankyou for making an impact on my starcraft journey and for the spirt in which you took part in it.
No more SEA protoss gg guys it's over, finally only races that require skill and terran is left.
All jokes aside, sucks to hear that. Hopefully you'll enjoy the game more when you aren't always playing to win, but instead playing to have fun and enjoy yourself with your friends. Best of luck to you, hope it all turns out well for you
I always regarded you as one of the best people in the scene, not only as a player, but also as a person, which I feel is more important. I know what you mean about the loneliness. I think I stopped playing because of the same thing. I was pretty much incapable of laddering unless I was streaming.
It's a shame that things have to end, but starcraft is still there. Even if we stop playing, we still come back to watch and cheer on our players, who are doing better than ever before internationally. And who knows what legacy of the void will bring.
Hey Ray. I really hope you don't leave us entirely. Seeing you pop up in to skype or on streams to have chat from time to time is always fantastic. I know everyone in mGG misses the micro trainer and team games from the end of wol. Unfortunetely I think sc2 is at a point atm where it does drive people in to questioning why they are still here and what exactly it is that they get out of it. I don't really see a lot of incentive for the people who aren't making a living from it to stick around. Undoubtedly you are a person who can make a living from it in the right team environment, but if you don't have the drive to do so anymore, then there might not be any point in kicking a dead horse (if the horse is truly dead that is).
If you were interested in sticking around for a little something. I know there are TONS of protosses screaming for a coach (both in SEA and NA). Maybe you could team up with fenner to do some protoss versions of the zerg tutorials?
Hopefully we still see you around the place, popping in to skype and watching tournaments, barcrafts and clan wars. If not, then go make new friends and fill the SC2 hole with something more fulfilling.
I remember when you first joined the mGG channel and the buzz that caused... how some members such as Stealth and Chase's disappointment turned to excitement when you joined us on skype and mGG as an honorary member. It has always been about the friendship and interaction with you that was #1. It is kinda sad to think you wont be around much though with the other mGG members who have gone inactive but are still alive on skype, we hope that you will still be around on skype at least. While we value your sc2 inputs (you are an amazing player), we too value you as a friend.
Wishing you all the best in your future endeavours. Not being in the competitive scene doesnt mean you cant play the game at a more casual level.
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player in
"and we'll invest more on Bots, as our first Trial bot, the 'NemBotElie' was a huge success, organising tournaments and being part of the Council of mGG. But there are a few bugs in which the bot cannot go past the skill level of a Platinum Protoss." - PaRAnorMaL
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